Vegeta the Hobo. Part 3
by Lady Kav and Sandy Winner
Summary: Part III. Vegeta goes to the future, expecting that Bulma will have forgiven him by then. Has she or has she moved on to someone else? Who are Goku Jr. and Vegeta Jr.?


Part 3: No Need for Crossovers With Hot Anime Guys!  
  
Bulma was standing outside her balcony looking at the stars. She smiled, it was so peaceful and relaxing without that barbaric alien. Suddenly her eye caught a black shadow lurking in the bushes. "Shimatta! What was Vegeta doing here?" Bulma thought to herself. "If he thought that she'd let him back into the house he'd have another thing coming."   
  
"Since my onna is too angry to take me back now, I'll steal her time machine and go into the future. After six years I'm sure she will have realized how horrible and lonely life is without me. She'll be begging to take me back.   
  
Vegeta climbed into the time machine and set the dial for six years in the future. He pulled the lever and everything became blurry. When he woke up he found himself in a playground in the Capsule Corp. compound. He spied a little boy that looked exactly like him standing on top of the Monkey-bars. Down below on crying on the swing was a little girl with lavender hair that looked exactly like Bulma. The kids looked like they were four years old.. The boy yelled out, "I, Goku Jr., king of the monkey-bars am going to beat you up Vegeta, queen of the sissies."  
  
Goku Jr. jumped off the monkey-bars and started to approach the little girl who was crying. Vegeta stepped in front of him and yelled, "No person named Kakarotto could ever beat me up. I'm going to blast you to HFIL!"   
  
"Oh my Dende! It's a hobo. I'm going to tell Grandma." In a flash Goku Jr. was running with his tail between his legs to the house.   
  
"Thank you, thank you Mr. Hobo for saving me." The little girl with lavender hair smiled.   
  
"Girl who are you and what are you doing here?"   
  
"My name is Vegeta Jr. I live here."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"I am the daughter of Bra Briefs and Goten Son. I was named after my good for nothing grandfather who got kicked out of the house a long time ago."  
  
"Kuso! My daughter, a Saiya-jin princess, married a idiotic third-class Saiya-jin! Had she gone mad?"  
  
"That mean nasty boy was my cousin Goku Jr. He's the son of Unckie Trunks and Auntie Pan. We all live together with Grammy Bulma in Capsule Corp."  
  
"This is a nightmare! Trunks and the spawn of the spawn of Kakarotto are married also! Shimatta!" Vegeta was so shocked. How could such chaos happen in the short time he had been away? He also didn't like the fact that Kakarotto Jr. was beating up his name-sake.  
  
"Hey, Mister Hobo, why don't you come inside and get something to eat." Vegeta followed Vegeta Jr. inside, after all he was hungry and he couldn't wait to see the image of Bulma on her knees pleading for him to come back. Vegeta walked into the house and he was horrified at what he saw:  
  
Bra and Pan were wearing fancy pink princess dresses. They had diamond tiaras in their hair and were wearing what looked like a ton of jewelry. They were sipping Martinis and watching the 'Satan Springer Show.' "Today's episode: So I Married an Android and Had a Kid With Her, next week stay tuned for neurotics who think they are married to aliens."  
  
Trunks had a sauce-pan on his head and Goten had a sports-bra on his and unfortunately it was stuck and he was stumbling around. Goku Jr. yelled out, "Let's pretend we're space monsters."  
  
Goten shouted, "I'm Dodoria."  
  
"I'm Zarbon."  
  
"And I, Goku Jr., am Guido and we are going to kill Vegeta Jr."  
  
Vegeta Jr. screamed and hid behind Vegeta the hobo. Vegeta growled and all three space aliens backed away. Trunks yelled, "Hey this isn't how it happened. Vegeta got his ass kicked by those henchmen of Frieza. Anyway who are you?"  
  
"Don't you know who I am?"  
  
"You look familiar, but I'm pretty sure I've never seen you."  
  
Bra turned around and said, "Trunks, stop fooling around and scaring Vegeta Jr. Oh hi Mr. Hobo. Why don't you stay for dinner? My mom is a really sweet person and she's always helping those who don't have homes. In fact, that's how she met her first husband. He was a real jerk, though."  
  
"Why didn't anyone recognize me? They should have been begging me to stay. This was preposterous! What the HFIL were those Saiya-jin brats doing? They should be all training instead of fooling around watching TV and pretending they were aliens. Who was running Capsule Corp. anyway?" Vegeta thought to himself.  
  
"Hey everybody, what's all the excitement about?"  
  
"Mom, we've got a new hobo!"  
  
"That's great, hey you're kind of cute."  
  
Standing before him was Bulma. She had her hair long and she was radiant and looked like she was thirty again. He knew she would be so happy to see him after all those long painful years.  
  
"Have you met my husband?"  
  
"Huh?"  
  
A tall, handsome man with platinum blond long hair and piercing blue eyes entered the room and kissed Bulma.  
  
"This is my husband, Zechs Merchise. He is so wonderful. He is kind, considerate, a great cook, and now he's running Capsule Corp. for Trunks." Vegeta felt sick to his stomach. Now Bulma would never take him back.   
  
"He's the perfect dad. Now, I have all this free time to do what I truly want to do: Party with Goten!"  
  
"You see Mr. Hobo, my first husband was an arrogant, mean, old, bum. All he ever wanted to do was to train, fight, eat, and kill my son. He never paid any attention to me. Finally one day, I kicked him out of the house and I've never heard from him since. Three days after he left, I met and fell in love with Zechs. He has a really interesting story to tell."  
  
"Well Mr. Hobo, I am from another dimension. I was a Preventer and me and my partner Wu Fei were on a mission to Mars. I think we must have gotten sucked up by a black hole because we crashed on this planet. Bulma was really nice to us and we've been happy living here ever since. My friend Wu Fei met this girl named Marron, who is supposedly half-android, and they fell in love and got married. He always calls her Nataku for short."  
  
Vegeta turned to Trunks and asked, "So boy, if you and Goten don't fight anymore than who does?"  
  
"My dad, Zechs, is building machines called Gundams. Gundams are super-strong, almost invincible and defeat any enemy in one attack, even a Super-Saiya-jin at level four."  
  
"Unbelievable!"  
  
"Trunks, Goten, Bra, and Pan do not want to fight. I do not believe that any person should be forced into battle. That's why I created the Gundams so Earthlings that wanted to fight could."  
  
"What! Saiya-jins who don't want to fight. This is ridiculous." Vegeta thought he was going to throw-up, but he had nothing in his stomach. This future was worse than HFIL, in fact this was worse than living with Kakarotto and that amazon. His children had married those good-for-nothing Sons, everyone had forgotten about him, Kakarotto Jr. was always beating up Vegeta Jr., there were Saiya-jins who didn't want to fight, and above all Bulma had ended up with someone else. "Kuso!"  
  
Bulma and Zechs went into the kitchen. Goku Jr., Goten, and Trunks had resumed playing Space Monsters. Bra and Pan were back on the couch drinking Martinis. "Oh Bra, if only I had met Zechs sooner, I would have never chased after Trunks."   
  
"Me too! I would have never married that Goten-atama."  
  
"Ahhhhh.....we wish!"  
  
"Why were all those onnas swooning over that girly looking guy? I have to go back to the past to make sure this horrible future never happens, where everyone lives happily ever after."   
  
Vegeta walked out of the house, again with his stomach empty, to Bulma's time machine. On his way he saw Kakarotto. He hoped, like everyone else, Kakarotto wouldn't recognize him. "Hey Vegeta, long time no see! Isn't it great, now that your daughter is married to my son, we're like brothers. Even better, now that your son is married to my granddaughter, I'm like your father. Now we're best friends and family."  
  
"Noooooooooooooo!" Vegeta, Prince of Saiya-jins, was now the son of a low-class idiotic Saiya-jin. This was horrendous. He ran as fast as he could to the time-machine.   
  
And now at the most cliff-hanging moment a word from our sponsors.....  
  
Hoping to earn some money on our way to Jurai, we have stooped to the lowest to bring you Nobuyuki's Used Cars. Nobuyuki walked out on the set wearing green pants, a yellow plaid jacket, and an orange tie with purple elephants on it.   
  
"Hey, all you earthlings and namekians, come down to Nobuyuki's for a GREAT bargain on a GREAT used car."  
  
Ayeka and Ryoko walked out wearing white tight bikini's with a red sash that said Nobuyuki's Used Cars. Ayeka, Ryoko, and Nobuyuki all began singing:  
  
Come to Nobuyuki's  
Come to drink some Saki  
Meet our mascot Ryo-Oki (meow)  
With your used car soon you'll be driving off saying Oki-Doke  
Come to Nobuyuki's  
  
Nobuyuki: Let me introduce you to our talented professional staff. On the left here we have Mihoshi and Kiyone selling used chevy-novas.   
  
Mihoshi: This car over here is really cheap! It has these features: the seats are broken, the car only makes left turns, it smells like wet cat, and it is equipped with four certified Firestone Tires.   
  
Kiyone: Mihoshi! You're such a ditz. We're not supposed to tell anyone that these cars don't work, until they've paid. That's the plan, remember.  
  
Mihoshi: Okay Kiyone. Now this car over here only drives backwards.  
  
Kiyone: Miiiiihoooshiii! I give up!  
  
Noboyuki: (Sweatdrops) Let's move on to meet the other members of our staff. Oh here's Tenchi washing the cars.  
  
Tenchi: Why do I always get stuck with the worst jobs?  
  
Noboyuki: Hey Tenchi, don't complain. You have to have a positive attitude.  
  
Tenchi: How can I have a positive attitude when we have no money, we are the most wanted criminals in the universe, I'm stuck washing cars, and I'm surrounded by six girls. Yeah, dad I'm gay. I'm really gay.  
  
Noboyuki: I'm glad to here you're happy. Remember to keep that positive attitude. (He moves on to the garage.) Here's our mechanic Washuu. She can install anything you want in your car.  
  
Washuu: I can put in hot tubs, projection screen TV's, beds, SAILOR STARSBUCKS coffee, a hundred cup-holders, and even gravity machines. All you have to do is call me Chibi Washuu. Hehehehehe  
  
Noboyuki: With such a great staff, great cars, and most importantly Sasami's Special Saki who could resist buying a used car from Noboyuki's Used Cars..  
  
(Everyone starts singing except Ryoko who's passed out on the Saki.)  
Come to Noboyuki's  
Come and drink some Saki  
Meet our mascot Ryo-Oki  
With your used car soon you'll be driving off saying Oki-Doke  
  
Drivers' Licenses not needed. This means you Goku and Piccolo.  
  
Noboyuki: Ayeka! Ryoko! Come back here. The commercial's not finished yet.  
  
Ayeka and Ryoko: It's Trunks, the cutest anime guy out there!  
  
Noboyuki: Hey what about Tenchi?  
  
Ayeka and Ryoko: Who's Tenchi?  
  
(Ayeka and Ryoko both grab Trunks' arms and began pulling him in two different directions.)  
  
Ayeka: Leave Trunks alone, you hussy, Lord Trunks and I were meant to be together. He's a prince after all.  
  
Ryoko: Trunks is mine. He'd never fall for an ugly stuck-up princess like yourself.  
  
(Ryoko and Ayeka continue to fight.)  
  
Trunks: At least this is better than Pan following me around.   
  
Vegeta: How come all the girls go after him? He is my son, after all!  
  
Mihoshi: Mr. Piccolo you're funny. Your ears are just as big as mine. Are you naturally green? I know my partner Kiyone has to dye her hair teal. Do you use dye?  
  
Kiyone: ::::sighs:::: Do you know what it's like to be surrounded by idiots, Gohan?  
  
Gohan: You haven't met my father and brother yet, have you?  
  
Washuu: Well if it isn't the distinguished Dr. Bulma Briefs, I presume. I bet I can construct an android faster than you. I'm sure I can make capsules that are smaller than yours, and I can make a gravity machine that is 1,000,000 G. I'm the most genius scientist in the universe.   
  
Bulma: But can you get the frizz out of your hair? You know it looks really untidy and spiky.  
  
Washuu: Grrrrr...okay you win.  
  
Mihoshi: Piccolo told me to come talk to you. Are you a troll, cause you are short, have a big nose, and spiky gravity-defying hair? I bet you could be a nice person, if you were nice to everyone.   
  
Vegeta: This onna is more annoying than Bulma.  
  
Tenchi: This is ridiculous. I'm going over to Chaozu's and Tien's house. I've heard Chaozu's a good cook.   
  
Noboyuki: How come none of the girls ever fight over me?  
  
We now return you to Vegeta the Hobo. Vegeta is back in the present.   
  
For some strange reason, Vegeta landed in the middle of a highway and the time-machine got crushed by a red car. The driver, who sped off, looked suspiciously green. He began running on the sidewalk to get to Capsule Corp. On the way there, to his horror, he ran into........  
  
That onna looking man with long hair. "So you pretty-boy have come here to steal my onna. I won't let you! I'm going to blast you to HFIL!" Using his Big Bang Attack he blew up Zechs.   
  
"Hey, I'm back in Gundam Wing! But where's Wu Fei?"  
  
Having reached Capsule Corp., Vegeta started banging on the door. He thought to himself, "Tomorrow morning I'm going to gather up those Saiya-jin kids, even Bra, and make them train in the Gravity Room at 500G."   
  
Bulma sighed as she saw Vegeta banging furiously at the door. He could be so heartless at times. She kind of felt sorry for him. He was wet, burnt, smelly, bloody, and like he hadn't eaten in a week. She finally opened the door. "Well....?"  
  
Vegeta swallowed up his pride, gritted his teeth, and clenched his fist. "I have lived with the Z fighters, King Kai, that namek, gone to HFIL and to the future and I realized that Capsule Corp. isn't so bad after all."  
  
Coming from Vegeta this was definitely an apology. Look at him, without her he looked like a hobo. "Vegeta you can come back as long as you don't try to kill Trunks anymore."  
  
".......Fine."   
  
When he walked in, he was surprised to see the mayhem at Capsule Corp. Pan was running after Trunks and the Great Saiyamen were running after Pan. "Get your dirty-monkey hands away from my daughter, you monkey molester." Everyone stopped when they saw that Vegeta had come back.   
  
"So where have you been, father?"  
  
"All around, to the future and HFIL. And you know what I found out? In six years you and Pan are married and have a son."  
  
Seeing the terrified expression on Trunks' face was almost as good as killing him, Vegeta reasoned. Pan began dancing around Trunks yelling, "We're gonna get married! We're gonna get married! And have a son!"  
  
"Trunks, OMAE WO KUROSO!" Gohan pulled out his gun....we mean sword, wrong anime.  
  
Well maybe this ending wasn't so bad. Maybe Gohan would end up killing Trunks. So Vegeta's life returned to normal.....for now.  
  
"Hey Vegeta. I'm baaack!"  
  
"It's Kakarotto, Kisama-amaa!"  
  
....And Marron and Wu Fei lived Happily Ever After!  
  
Briefs, Meet the Briefs  
They're a modern saiya-jin-human family  
From the Capsule Corps,  
Mirai Trunks has the ability to change history.  
  
Someday maybe Vegeta will win the fight  
And that sexy Trunks will be blasted out of sight  
When your with the briefs  
Have a Kisamaa-amaa time  
A Kisamaa-amaa time  
We'll have a gay old time (Oops! That's Tien and Chaozu)  
  
(Vegeta is bagging on the Capsule Corps door)  
  
Buuuulllmaaaaaaaa.........  
  
Disclaimer: We do not own the following programs: Dragonball Z, Sailor Moon, Tenchi Muyo, Gundam Wing, Xena Warrior Princess, Curious George, Jim Henson's Muppets, Powerpuff Girls, Captain Simian and the Space Monkeys, Saturday Night Live, Ace Ventura, Aladdin, Friends, and the Simpsons. We don't own these companies either: Funimation, Bandai, Pioneer, AiC, CWI, Sunrise, Toei, Mattel, Hanna-Barbera, Disney, Fox, NBC, and Harmony Gold. We don't own these products: Firestone Tires, Starbucks, Mr. Clean, chevy-novas, and Barbie Dolls. We don't own these people either: Freddie Prince Jr., Sarah Michelle Geller, Chris Sabat, Jessie Ventura, Madonna. Don't bother sueing us anyway. We don't work and we have no money just like Vegeta.  
We'd like to thank the following Manga Artists for lending us their characters: Akira Toriyama, Naoko Takuechi,. Hajime Yadate, Yoshiyuki Tomino, Koichi Tokita and   
Hitoshi Okuda.  
  



End file.
